I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
