the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
