and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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