Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
