I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize