Whod you bang
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
