when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
