dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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