I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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