so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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