I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
