dude i'm inner monologue high
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
