Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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