You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
