Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
