I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
