Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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