i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
