just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
