do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
