I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
