Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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