how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
