So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
