do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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