I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
