I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
