Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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