I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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