Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
that's an acceptable place to lick
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
