I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
