Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
