I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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