My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
