Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
