I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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