glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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