Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
