you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
do nipples grow back?
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