Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Who died my cat blue again?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
