what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize