12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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