the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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