what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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