my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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