help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
