he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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