i just google imaged poop.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
