I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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