Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Your cock deserves a montage
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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