Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
