Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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