Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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