I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize