Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
