i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
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