Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
