i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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