Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i out mim tonsoeep
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