is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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