i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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