Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.

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(315): View more from New York

3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...

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(440): View more from Ohio

My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.

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(315): View more from New York

Why did my mother make you get naked?

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(616): View more from Michigan

Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up

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