To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You're a waste of cheezeits
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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