I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
