I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
