Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
