I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i now understand why vodka
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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