Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
